Tag Archives: snow

BlogHer Bound?

I’ve only got 3 more days to make my move on early bird registration for this year’s BlogHer conference in NYC. The Bee has been on my case to sign-up for a while now but, as usual, I’ve decided my best bet is to wait until the last minute and then stress over the impending deadline. I am not even entirely sure that I belong at a place like that but here’s to finding out!

The crap side to this story is that this year’s conference falls ever so inconveniently on The Bee’s birthday and that means I’ll be there and he’ll be, well wherever he wants I guess. It’s his birthday. Maybe a full day away from me is the best birthday gift I could give him….

Needless to say, I’m torn

and chicken shit.

I’m just scared that it’s going to be me, alone, walking into a convention hall full of seasoned and sought-after bloggers only to end up sitting alone in a corner wishing I was just a speck of dirt on the carpet hoping some vacuum would come by and suck me up already.

Nobody likes to feel like a friendless loser but I suppose the only way to “make friends” is to just be present and try for chrissake.

*quick sidenote*

My gramm likes to embarrass me by telling everyone that I’m “shy” when the truth is I generally like to sit back and observe my surroundings before jumping into anything headfirst. Being called shy generally drives me crazy, 1. because I don’t think I am and 2. because for whatever reason, when you are being referred to as such it just comes off negatively, like being that way is a major defect to one’s character.

That being said, I could use some feedback:

What would you do?

Will YOU be attending BlogHer ’10?

If yes, will you be my friend?

Any past BlogHer experiences/tips/suggestions you would like to share?

Am I freaking out unnecessarily or is it totally appropriate to feel like throwing up about something that’s still 6 months away?

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!

Oh yeah, and THIS is the view from outside my window:

yet again.

Pretty and all but, really, nature?

REALLY?

I think it’s high time to QUIT. IT.

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Blaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgh…

I’m tired. and lazy. and I complain a lot.

WELCOME!

I’m sick of the snow. I’m sick of my car getting stuck in it, and walking through it so my pants get wet up to the knees, and needing to carry the shoes I’m wearing that day in a bag because I have to wear boots outside but I can’t wear them in the office, and just the way snow looks all cold and white and how it mocks me with its refusal to melt even a little and just go away already so we can just get Spring started because seriously?

(me) and Winter are done.

FIN-ISHED

That, and my mind has decided to take a last-minute, unscheduled vacation.

So…

Here are some pictures involving, you guessed it, SNOW!!!

Funny story: Last night I was uploading these pics to the blog and I was pretty punchy because it was almost midnight and I had wanted to post before today but I ate a giant bowl of taco salad instead followed by a Klondike bar (White House Cherry, no less) and then I started to feel kind of sick so that plan went right to hell.

AN-Y-WAY I was looking at the picture below and the first thing that pops into my head is “Hey, look at that. The hat I’m wearing matches that bulldozer in the background!”

Okay, that wasn’t very funny. What IS funny is that I referred to the thing in the background as a bulldozer, which The Bee was quick to correct me on, because that big yellow, clearly dozer-ish, object actually has a very specific name and that name, my friends, is “backhoe”.

I swear. Look it up.

Back. HOE.

Guess what?

I’m 12 and that thing will always be a bull-dozer to me.

NATURE!

ICE!

Lots and lots of ice.

gah.

I’m not sure why this skull wears an eyepatch other than it wants to establish itself as a pirate through and through, even in death, but it’s quite probably the coolest prize found in a cereal box EVER. It strobes red when you tap it and I like to think it gives people a scare who are driving ahead of me, like the 5-0 is after them.

Told ya.

Coolest. Prize. EVER.

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To: the snow, From: (me), Message: BRING IT

O.M.G.ma.ged.don [Oh-mai-gahd-muh-ged-n]

-noun

1. an all encompassing word used to describe anything truly awe-inspiring AND ‘mageddon like.

2. not to be confused with “Snowmageddon” which would leave the world in a state much like that pictured below

a highly accurate artists rendering of the result of the Snowpocalypse, a.k.a. Snowmageddon, a.k.a. The Snow to End All Days

OMGmageddon can be used in m u l t i p l e “end of days” scenarios, WAY beyond terms such as  “snow-tastrophe” or, pffffffft “Snowmageddon”.

Please

Here are some OMGmageddon worthy examples:

  • Anytime you seriously consider eating at a Burger King. You’re practically digging your own grave.
  • When you’re all dressed up but have nowhere to go and then a super twister comes barreling through your town destroying everything in sight but you and your house and since you’re a misanthrope you are initially ecstatic except you realize that the twister literally decimated your town so you might be all alone (!!!) but now you have no cable (!?!).
  • When the dog poops in your shoes. ALL your shoes.

OMGmageddon or any similar ‘mageddon phrasing including those using the prefix “arm” and/or “guitar” should NOT be used if:

The weather forecast is calling for a buttload (science term for “lots and lots”) of snowman poo to be dumped upon one’s home and surrounding vicinity.

In cases such as the one mentioned above, you should do the following:

  • Don’t worry about it!
  • Sleep in!
  • Make snowballs!
  • Throw them at forest animals!
  • Take your dog out to play!
  • Make more snowballs! but THIS TIME take some dog poop and pack the snow around it, then fling the snowball at someone to show them you care! (it’s like the next best thing to a Hallmark card)

Basically what you should do is embrace the last days you’ve got before the deep freeze settles over us all and we end up in the “Primitive Earthlings” section at the Blergleepglop Museum on Sector 779 of the Qrantfulp Republic.

Because seriously people , the snow takes no prisoners.

We’re all gonna die.

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Arctic Blast

Einstein over here figured out how to upload pictures onto her blog even if your home computer isn’t functional: You bring your camera to work and do it there. I’z a Jeanyiss, ahm tellin ya. Next post I will be supplying the answer to the meaning of life which is bound to rock your world. If you are impatient like I am and enjoy spoiling your dinner and everything else, you can get the answer here.

For the rest, here is our pre-winter extravaganza provided by Mother Nature’s wickedly cold shoulder. People act like the falling of snow is the actual end of the world. I’ve been hearing that from the snowfall that occured this past Saturday, schools were still closed as of Tuesday. TUESDAY. Kind of makes me wish I was school-aged again. Kind of.

H sweet H

prepping my balls

prepping some balls

taking a break

 

bee don't need no stinkin' scarf. he's got a very impressive face sweater - thankyouverymuch

 

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