To: the snow, From: (me), Message: BRING IT

O.M.G.ma.ged.don [Oh-mai-gahd-muh-ged-n]

-noun

1. an all encompassing word used to describe anything truly awe-inspiring AND ‘mageddon like.

2. not to be confused with “Snowmageddon” which would leave the world in a state much like that pictured below

a highly accurate artists rendering of the result of the Snowpocalypse, a.k.a. Snowmageddon, a.k.a. The Snow to End All Days

OMGmageddon can be used in m u l t i p l e “end of days” scenarios, WAY beyond terms such as  “snow-tastrophe” or, pffffffft “Snowmageddon”.

Please

Here are some OMGmageddon worthy examples:

  • Anytime you seriously consider eating at a Burger King. You’re practically digging your own grave.
  • When you’re all dressed up but have nowhere to go and then a super twister comes barreling through your town destroying everything in sight but you and your house and since you’re a misanthrope you are initially ecstatic except you realize that the twister literally decimated your town so you might be all alone (!!!) but now you have no cable (!?!).
  • When the dog poops in your shoes. ALL your shoes.

OMGmageddon or any similar ‘mageddon phrasing including those using the prefix “arm” and/or “guitar” should NOT be used if:

The weather forecast is calling for a buttload (science term for “lots and lots”) of snowman poo to be dumped upon one’s home and surrounding vicinity.

In cases such as the one mentioned above, you should do the following:

  • Don’t worry about it!
  • Sleep in!
  • Make snowballs!
  • Throw them at forest animals!
  • Take your dog out to play!
  • Make more snowballs! but THIS TIME take some dog poop and pack the snow around it, then fling the snowball at someone to show them you care! (it’s like the next best thing to a Hallmark card)

Basically what you should do is embrace the last days you’ve got before the deep freeze settles over us all and we end up in the “Primitive Earthlings” section at the Blergleepglop Museum on Sector 779 of the Qrantfulp Republic.

Because seriously people , the snow takes no prisoners.

We’re all gonna die.

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4 Comments

Filed under home, just a thought...

4 responses to “To: the snow, From: (me), Message: BRING IT

  1. how could you forget about snow-nihilation and holofrost? i like your line of thinking and am glad i finally know where all that poo in my shoes comes from. i always thought it was you…

  2. Emmy

    Hold on to your bootstraps…not over yet. Your words certainly make it easier to deal with. Hysterical!

  3. Pingback: everyone else is talking about it, i might as well join in « bee3six5

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