I can cook. Just not very well.

me: Oh, thank GOD you’re here.

the bee: What happened?

m: I think I may have ruined the chicken.

b: What makes you say that?

m: I’m not sure if I cooked it long enough.

b: How long did you cook it for?

m: About 15 minutes, but it feels raw to me.

b: Should we really be feeling it?

m: I think so.

b: Well, when you cut it open is the chicken pink or is it white inside?

m: It’s white but I tried some and it felt like raw in my throat.

b: *raises a concerned and skeptical eyebrow*

m: Should it be white on the outside too? Because it doesn’t look very appetizing…

b: Steff, it’s fine. It looks exactly the same as when I cook the chicken.

m: You’re just saying that. I won’t believe you til you try it.

b: Ok. (Takes bite and chews for an inordinate amount of time to eat a reasonably sized piece of chicken)

*gulps* It’s… good.

m: *waves arms in a defeated and hysterical manner* Oh my GOD! Somehow I’ve managed to make it both raw and overcooked. I’ve ruined dinner! It’s a disaster.

and poison!

b: You just need to relax. This is not a disaster and it’s not poison. It’s chicken.

m: *mumbles under breath* poison chicken…

b: *sideways glance*

m: Well?

b: Maybe…

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8 Comments

Filed under (me), home, just a thought..., the bee

8 responses to “I can cook. Just not very well.

  1. Truthfully, honestly, I have cooked chicken to where it was BURNED on the outside and FROZEN in the middle.
    So, hey, yours sounds at least like a few more minutes on the stove would cure it… Mine was… Well… uhm.
    We had pizza that night :)

  2. It’s a good thing I don’t eat chicken, cause this is probably how mine would turn out too.

    • steff

      that night’s dinner was more than enough to convince me to go back to the ways of vegetarianism if for no other reason than i might never have to touch a piece of slimey, tendon-ridden bird flesh again.

  3. ahaha! well, we all have our talents. maybe you should stick to pasta. ;)

  4. when i was living in london (and far away from anyone i could call for advice) i decided to make chicken. i was so proud of myself because it actually turned out really tasty looking. it was only once i’d eaten halfway through the hunk of meat that i realized the very center was still mushy and icey.

    i died on the spot.

  5. An individual usually compose the most exciting posts. And also you often seem to consider bad/boring points as well as turn all of them straight into exciting/interesting items. Instant messaging the viewer for lifetime!

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