7 Ways to Successfully Avoid Planning a Wedding

maybe we could just get the cake...

1.  Think about topics for blog posts. 

2.  Write blog post which is nothing more than an arbitrary list of ways to further procrastinate on wedding plans only to realize that creating the list is ALSO an awesome element of avoidance of said topic! 

3.  Make plans to sit-down and figure out wedding plans but never actually follow through with those plans. 

4.  Map-out an extensive cross-country road trip itinerary that JUST HAPPENS to coincide with the proposed date of nuptials. 

5.  Think of new names for the cat (that already has, like, 3 too many): 

  • Stinky
  • Stinky Winkerbean
  • Stinking Butt
  • Mr. Pants
  • Mr. Monkey Man
  • Meep Meep
  • Balki from Mypos
  • Lil’ Lenny Lemur
  • Ling Ling the Lion
  • Carl (jk! only a lunatic would name their cat Carl…)

6.   Schedule yourself for non responsive sedation a few days prior to the event, with explicit instructions left for friends and family to “carry on without you” and another set for doctors to wake you the day after it’s all over. 

7.  Cling to the flimsy hope that on the day of the wedding you can just show up and someone will have taken care of everything complete with guests jumping out from behind shrubbery shouting “SURPRISE!!!” 

Wash, Rinse, & Repeat until you finally get your way and the bee and your joint army of step/half/thrice removed relations will have to accept that all the headaches and hysteria pomp & circumstance of a traditional wedding ceremony is just not for you so can’t we just head on down to the county courthouse, sign some papers and then come home and take a nap?

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8 Comments

Filed under just a thought...

8 responses to “7 Ways to Successfully Avoid Planning a Wedding

  1. Best way to get yourself back in the spirit?
    http://offbeatbride.com/

  2. Seriously consider eloping!!!! From reading your blog, I see so many similarities (SP) between you and me. I can’t even begin to tell you the stress I put myself through planning a wedding. Even now 8 years later I still say to Vinay, we should have just gone to an island and gotten married, of course Vinay had the best time ever at our wedding. I was just preoccupied with what could and did go wrong.
    Another option elope, and then come back and throw a kick ass party for friends and family to celebrate with you!!!!

  3. Elope. My first wedding (husband) was a cavalry of over the top-ness. A wedding in India, the groom brought in on an oxen cart, guests I didn’t know, the ceremony in an ancient language. And then a wedding state side with a 40K bar tab at the end of it, and more people I didn’t know and bad speeches and the lot of it. My second wedding (husband) was everything I wanted – tiny, casual, backyard. And everyone who came said, “I wish my wedding had been smaller.” Do it.

  4. so the consensus seems to be eloping is the way to go. that’s actually what i’ve been pushing for from the get-go but only felt the need to explore other options based on the thoughts and wishes of some friends/family.
    i really like the idea of going away to tie the knot and then coming home for a post-marriage low-key NO PRESSURE party.
    that’s way more our speed anyway.
    thanx 4 all the good advice and shared stories!!!

  5. i go back and forth and back and forth and back …… and then forth. ugh, weddings. you’re welcome for being so helpful :)

  6. A to the MEN sister!!

    I am not engaged but I imagine that some day R will decide he likes it enough to put a ring on it… at which point I will make the explicit request to pretty please go to city hall and then follow it up with a small dinner for our immediate friends and family. I have a feeling that somehow my dream will not be my reality. There’s this whole thing about people expecting you to have the wedding *for them*… because… you know, the union of you and your spouse is actually all about your parents and family members.

    If it was up to me, we’d already be married, no rings, no fluff, just legal documents and then getting back to my life as usual.

    Damn, I’m a hopeless romantic, aren’t I?

  7. Paul

    Fatherly perspective – I fully support ANYTHING you guys decide to do but remember…………….others (family, friends, etc…) are looking forward to the opportunity to share in your blessed fortune. sometimes we need to be gracious and allow others their dream as well. consider that but always follow your heart. much luv.

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