The Saga Continues… *UPDATED*

You may have read what I wrote the other day about our war against the leggy leap-happy freaks in our home.

It was intended to be funny but the fact of the matter is that this situation is anything but.

Each morning I awake prepped and readied for battle:

Since writing of my insect woes not a day has passed without encountering a multitude of these vile bastards. Just this morning I had a rather large hopper leap towards me while I was in the bathroom. The one good thing about this interaction was I learned that cave crickets are highly irritated by the sound of shrill screams.

After shouting:

“EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeee! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-fucker-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

and jumping up and down in front of it, it quickly changed its course of direction, retreating to creeper sanctuary a.k.a. the nearest darkened corner of the room.

Either I’m going to become the most fearless and brave bug warrior there ever was or I will succumb to their infestation long before the summer begins.

I’m leaning towards the latter being the more realistic scenario.

Please know, if you are reading this, that I love you and you are all invited to my funeral.

For those of you concerned about scheduling conflicts, I predict it will occur sometime around mid-June.

If I’m lucky.

I had some ideas for today’s post but this week’s events have sort of caused me to lose some focus. Also, I’ve been working on pieces for other sites, hopefully ones that will actually get picked up/generate some cash-ola.

If not? (me) and the bee readers will be subjected to all my reject material!

How awesome for you!!!

In the spirit of giving, I’ve decided to use today’s post to pimp-out some hardworking bloggers and their sites which I just ADORE:

Alex & Mina are so frikkin’ cute and (me) and the bee are super jealous of all their awesome adventures.

Oh, and they take a ton of pictures. AMAZING pictures.

Schmutzie was my first ever blog friend and I will always love her for that. She is also ridiculously talented and generous and hosts FiveStarFriday for other bloggers to submit the superb works of their peers. Check it out, yo.

OH.EM.GEE.

David Thorne is probably the most wickedly funny guy of ever. You will be thanking me later for this, no doubt.

Allie just might have the all-around funniest site on the interwebz. I am totally addicted to her. Visit once and you’ll be too.

Becky makes my sides split with her flashback photos and penchant for intentional misspellings. Obviously we are cut from the same cloth.

MamaPop hosts some of the wittiest and thought provoking pop culture related content on Innernet. They also have a dream-team staff comprised of some of the best writers in blog-land.

Sarah P is a master of the stick figure drawing *tips hat* and loves poop-talk almost as much as I do. If that isn’t a recipe for greatness, I don’t know what is.

Mepsipax’s site is titled Adventures of Being a Dick. Kind of self-explanatory. And awesome.

The Unqualified Economist was one of my earliest blogging allies and a great source for humor and headlines.

Saving the best for last…

Ok, so I’m clearly biased HOW-ever, the bee is unquestionably talented and incredibly dedicated to his daily photo capture project.

Give him some love, won’t you?

***

In case you STILL didn’t believe me, I now have photographic evidence of the little fuckers running all sorts of  ‘a-muck’ in our home:

Do you see this crap?

IS. NOT. FUNNY.

We set these traps yesterday afternoon and this is just what was collected OVERNIGHT.

Also?

What you see in that trap are just BABIES. Teeny-tiny stupid little baby hoppers who didn’t know any better and were baited into their sweet-sweet death by sugary poison. The adult hoppers obviously know better and are currently lying in wait inside my shoes and in my underwear drawer planning their revenge for our killing their offspring.

We are amidst an invasion of epic proportions.

Also, also?

That was just one of the traps we set.

You should have seen the one by the fireplace…

E-fuckin’-GAD!

***

For the final part to the story, click here.

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15 Comments

Filed under (me), home

15 responses to “The Saga Continues… *UPDATED*

  1. thanks for the shout out, yo!

  2. Girl you better get a holster that holds a can of raid!!!

  3. Whaaaa …?
    You totally pimped me.
    I feel so dirty and proud.

    OK. We get camel crickets here, which, with a bit of Google research, I’ve come to understand are closely related to cave crickets.
    When we moved in, the house had been vacant for some time. They had taken over the cellar and grown to the size of small horses.
    I hate the way they jump in unexpected directions.
    I’m not and ‘eeeek! bug!’ type of girl. Except with those creepy underworld hoppers. Effing freaky.
    Feeling your pain.

    • OMG! i totally know what you are saying. the assholes in our house aren’t even the MEGA-hoppers that i’ve seen in the basement in days of yore. i’m seriously hoping we can just kill-kill-KILL all of these suckers before they get to their normal rhino-size.
      come to think of it, this actually might be a REALLY good excuse for my finally getting a cat!
      hmmm…

  4. Ahahahaha… I fucking hate those things. Thanks for pimping me. I got your money…..not really

  5. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to move from your blog just in case those creepy things come through the internet….

  6. i was *gonna* say thank you (hey, thanks a lot, pookie) and THEN!!!!! THERE WERE PICTURES OF HORRIBLENESS THAT I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

    my deepest condolences on your infestation and thank you for being so sweet :)

  7. Okay, that is just insanity. I don’t know how you’re still surviving! Also, why didn’t we get a picture of the one by the fireplace?? Inquiring minds!

    • i question how we’re still surviving as well. some days are better than others but nothing really seems to get rid of these suckers for good.
      if i had been brave enough to get within a close proximity of the one by the fireplace i would have. the picture i took above was from a *somewhat* safe distance which is really the only reason it got published at all!

  8. Shannon

    Holy shit do you remember when we went camping circa 8th grade maybe and you woke up in the middle of the night with like a 5 in. killer cricket stuck between your toes…i believe you ran from the tent hysterically screaming…bugs dont like you girl, you are always the one that gets eaten alive in the outdoors by bugs! it must be bc your so sweet…awww.

    • OHMYGOD!
      do NOT remind me of such mentally scarring moments. i think i had successfully blocked it out but now that you mention it, YES. i must have been born with a target on my back for both attracting freaky-ass bugs and being singled out as a trouble-maker in middle school.
      i cannot catch a break, yo.

  9. I LOVE your insect (the drawn one, not the real one. …Those are creepy, and I hope they continued to die.)!

  10. Pingback: Queen Cricket WILL Have Her Revenge (on my sorry ass) « me and the bee

  11. Pingback: Welcome to HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! « me and the bee

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