Public Restroom Etiquette

Here’s something that bothers me. Like, R E A L L Y bothers me. I can’t speak for other places of business but I know that at my work we have 2 communal restrooms that the entire 1st floor shares, one for men, one for women. That’s not the bothersome part. I don’t even know what goes on in the men’s room and you know what? I don’t care to. Boys can be smelly and gross outside of a bathroom so I can only imagine just how smelly and gross they are within those walls. [full-body shudder] I can only speak for the ladies room and what kills, I mean K-I-L-Ls me is that of the 8 stalls in this shared restroom, at most 4 are ever occupied yet there is always, AL-WAYS that person who decides that a standard stall is just not good enough for their precious ass cheeks and they pick the handicapped stall.

Now, if ALL other stalls were full I could understand this practice. If you were trying to avoid going into a stall directly next to another person, I could *kind of* get with that too because I also can’t stand when someone comes into a restroom all but empty save for you and then goes into the stall RIGHT. NEXT. TO. YOURS. I can’t help but wonder: WHY? Do you enjoy the close quartered cacophony of a colleague pissing or (by god say it ain’t so) SHIT-ting within close proximity? Yeah? Well, you are weird. AND gross. But the bone I have to pick isn’t really with this person right now. The person I’m talking about picks the handicapped stall out of all available stalls even though they are clearly not someone who requires the accommodations that the handicapped stall affords. This person is just plain SELFISH.

Oh, I said it. Sel-fish.

I’m not saying I’ve never used the handicapped stall. I have. I’m not proud but I’ve seen the error of my ways. There are obvious advantages to the pick. Well, really only one that I can think of: it’s larger. There you go. Is that what all the fuss is over? Personally, I rank privacy (think single occupancy restrooms) over having an abundance of (mostly extraneous) space and I can more than deal with the perfectly reasonable space allotted for my presence in a standard restroom stall. Based on the stall picking practice at my job, I am in the minority.

So I ask: Is the big stall really worth potentially inconveniencing and disrupting the basic human act of one needing to use the appropriate bathroom accommodations in public? Is it really too much to ask for those folks who do not require handicapped facilities to stay the eff out of that stall unless absolutely necessary? Because I really don’t think it is. I think doing anything less is rude and selfish and completely inconsiderate and have I mentioned SELFISH? Well that’s because it is.

While we are on the subject of etiquette a’ la commode (sounds like ice cream! except it’s not):

1. Please wash your hands. I don’t care if you don’t wash them when you use your bathroom at home. That’s fine. You know why? Because I’M NOT THERE. Do you know how many illnesses I have picked up since choosing (unwisely I might add) to work in an office environment? Well I don’t really know either but it’s a fucking lot I tell you. A. LOT. People are disgusting and disease travels quickly ESPECIALLY when filth mongers choose NOT to wash their hands after wiping their “areas” and then go touch on knobs and handles all of which I try to avoid anyway because as I said before: people are disgusting.

2. People should really refrain from carrying on a conversation with someone while they are on the pot. Is that what you came in here for? If you answered: Yes, then you really need to get out more because most people who go into the bathroom are going in to do just that. No one likes talking while shit or piss is coming out of their bodies. It’s gross and awkward.

That is all.

Carry on…


1 Comment

Filed under just a thought..., work

One response to “Public Restroom Etiquette

  1. I hate talking in the bathroom. Leave me alone in my shame. Also, don’t complain. We only have 1 restroom at my work. For girls and guys. With only 1 toilet. It sucks monkey balls.

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