The Bee says I should just write and not worry so much about content or clarity or wherever else my rapid fire, neuropathic brain might normally take me. I think he’s right. He usually is. He’s an abundant treasure trove of good advice. Now if only I would listen. *sigh* So here I be, just writing away, seemingly about nothing but I figure a nugget or two of coherence should emerge in time (that sounded like a poo reference, but I’m really TRYING to be serious here, I swear!). Ok, so Bee says “always be writing” and now I can’t help but picture him as Alec Baldwin’s character Blake, giving me the Glengarry “Always Be Closing” spiel except (thankfully) my career doesn’t depend on it and I have no chance of winning a car or even a nice set of steak knives. So what is my incentive exactly?! Well certainly nothing monetary or even tangible for that matter. Every time I get started on a new rant, whether or not it ends up in a post, it reminds me of the control I DO still have over my life and that, my friends, equals peace for a very harried mind.
I tend to write the most while I’m at work. That either speaks poorly of my work habits or the nature of the job itself and I’m sticking with the latter. Anyway, the writing has been keeping me sane here in an environment that tends to provide me with more mental anguish than anything close to resembling a sense of accomplishment or pride. But I’m not here to complain about my job. At least not today. It’s just that I’ve felt a real lack of control over where my life has been headed for the bulk of adulthood. And if I don’t have the control then who does exactly? The answer is that I’ve always had it, I’ve just been too lazy or oblivious or defeatist in attitude to bother digging a little deeper to discover what I’m really all about. I’ve taken job after job just so that I had some way of supporting myself but I never stopped to figure out what it was that I actually liked doing; and that being good at something does not necessarily make one happy.
Writing has become my savior and my link back to a self who was too preoccupied with doing what I “thought” I should be doing ; i.e. battling it out in a corporate hell and becoming utterly miserable in the process. The passion was always there, I just hadn’t been utilizing it properly. The Bee would send me an email asking how my morning was going and I would reply with a 6 paragraph diatribe about every whacked-out thought & complaint that had entered my head from the moment I read the subject line. Poor thing. I still write pretty lengthy emails, it’s just now I’m writing other stuff too so my crazed and woeful responses have decreased a bit. When I write I can finally let loose all of the pent up frustrations lurking below the surface and in a much more positive way. Now when I go into work I look forward to the moments I will get to write a sentence here or there. The job is the same but my attitude is decidedly different.
Perhaps the idea behind Blake’s ABC rule are crucial for writing as well. There are usually so many thoughts and ideas floating in my head that I complain I need a to hire a little man (little, so he can set-up shop inside my ear, obviously) with ferocious touch-typing skills to take it all down. If you will “Always Be Writing” the majority of that mess can be captured and eventually some sense can be made of it. If you’re always writing then you are always succeeding at something, even if it’s just getting the thought out of your head and onto the screen or paper. Did I just compare closing a deal with the art of word manipulation? I’m not sure I was successful with that but I know there is at least one commonality between the art of writing and sales:
It takes BRASS BALLS.