Alright, I swore I wouldn’t do this but I’m here (the dreaded workplace) and as usual it has completely sapped my ability to become inspired for anything creative and I have been drained of all potential positivity this day has to offer. Whew! Too dramatic? A touch, perhaps, but in the last 6 months or so I have become increasingly despondent in regard to my current job. There are a lot of reasons for this. I’ve probably been doing the same thing for too long here without much challenge or growth and it’s really starting to eat away at me. I don’t like feeling mind-numbingly bored during 8 hours of my day and although I am plenty busy here with work that is just that – busy, I find the most productive part of my day occurs while creating lists of things that I need to/have to do (i.e. things I COULD be doing right now but I’m strapped to this desk) once I get home. Hmmm, I fear this may all come off like a big “poor me” weep-fest but let me try to further illustrate my point:
1. I work in customer service which is basically the dumping ground for everyone else’s bad attitudes and problems whether or not they relate AT ALL to what I can actually assist them with.
I actually used to be quite patient and pleasant even when it came to the most evil of callers, using the ol’ “kill ’em with kindness” method. Yeah, that trick lost its magic some time ago. Continuing…
2. It is my duty to answer phone calls among other tasks which require only a modicum of brain power as well as being completely banal and spirit sucking. The phone is, by far, the worst part. The majority of the people I speak to are nice enough and of course there are the assholes who just want to be a dick to you because they know they can. However, working in this capacity for over 2 years I have found the worst offenders are those who talk to you in the sickeningly sweet way that a great-aunt might use when introduced to a newborn.
ME: “Thank you for calling _____________. This is _____________, how can I help you?”
THEM: “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Bethany! How are yooooou?!
ME: “Fine, how can I help you?”
THEM: “Well, I’ve just got one itty bitty order here for you!” (This is an actual quote. I could not make this up if I tried)
ME: *cringing* “Ooookay, can I have your account number?”
THEM: “Sure thing, Bethany*!”
*That is NOT my name. It is, however, the name I get called almost as often as my own. Can you tell it annoys me?
It goes on like this for a while so I’ll spare you the rest. Needless to say, I usually cower in fear when ANY phone rings outside of work which is why you will likely have difficulty reaching me that way. Moving on…
3. I feel like the job has changed me. As I mentioned earlier, I used to be a very easy-going, friendly voice on the phone. One that might even engage you in conversation to keep things lively and temporarily postpone the impending suckery of what the rest of the day has to offer. I used to gaily chat with my co-workers and look forward to being given little projects to break-up the monotony of my day. Now I’m just D.O.N.E. with all of that crap. I come in, do my job, and get the hell out of there. Maybe I’m just burnt out and ready to move onto bigger/better/anything but this. For the past few months, instead of focusing on the positive and attempting to pursue the happiness I so desire, I have become more and more dejected at the thought that I’ve wasted years and literally thousands of dollars in a college education all to become a phone jockey. Is that even a thing? Well, it is now and it’s me.
What it comes down to is this: My job depresses the hell out of me. After I’ve spent all day kissing ass and putting up with crap from people who want nothing more than to use me as an outlet to absorb their frustrations over something I have no control over or WORSE, belittle me to the point where I actually start to question my own self worth & intelligence, I just want to cry and I usually do just that. I’m not writing this to garner pity but rather explain why, I feel, I have become the way I am as of late. That “way” often manifests itself as short-tempered, bitchy, nasty, fed-up and just not cool to be around for the most part. I’m working on turning a corner and finding some peace within so that way I don’t absolutely lose my shit on a daily basis. So far, so good. The blogging helps and I’m working on leaving my work baggage at the office where it belongs. I have learned a lot from my time here, one of the biggest being: If ever offered another job in customer service, I will commence running and screaming in the opposite direction as fast as I can. I would suggest you do the same…